The evil geniuses at Who Ate all the Pies? are putting together the worst ever England team in the history of worst ever England teams ever, as chosen by readers. They've already cobbled together a truly horrible back four that lines up (right to left) Danny Mills, Anthony Gardner, Razor Ruddock and Phil Neville and when (not if) that porous excuse for an international defence is breached there's only Paul Robinson between the opposition forward and the scoresheet.

Comedy thug Lee Bowyer is in at right midfield, from where he can look left to find Carlton Palmer and Seth Johnson forming a doomsday scenario central midfield partnership.

Currently open for voting is the bermuda triangle of England players, the left wing. It's early doors but Lee Sharpe currently leads the voting, which seems a little harsh to me. My guess is for an eventual Steve Guppy victory, if that's the right word (it isn't.) This whole thing is such a repressed memory inducing walk down memory lane (Euro 92 flashback, argh!) that I'm tempted to go over there and finally tell them who did eat all the pies, just to make them stop torturing me.