After Soccer-Weblog (and the rest of the world) scoffed at Stan Collymore's optimistic prediction that he'll be a top Premiership striker by this time next month, here are some more realistic options for the big man.

The Championship: This is where you'll find the majority of players from Stan's generation. The likes of Les Ferdinand and Dion Dublin have graced England's second tier in recent years, and that's after whole careers spent looking after their bodies (as opposed to appearing in "Basic Instinct 2"). If Stan's really serious about playing again, this is the place to start.

MLS: If ever a league needed some personality, it's MLS. Stan would provide much needed charisma (Clint Dempsey excepted) and probably a few goals. If Youri Djorkaeff is still going strong in MLS, why not Stanley Victor Collymore? Just don't mention the salary cap.

A-League: There was talk of Stan joining the Newcastle Jets (currently desperate for goals) and if the A League worked for Dwight Yorke (now at Sunderland) it could have worked for our man. Unfortunately, the Australian FA blocked the move because of concerns over his image.

Saudi Arabia: In all seriousness, this would be perfect. It's a decent standard, tons and tons of money, and alcohol should be a little harder to come by than in say Australia.

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