Real Madrid President Fernando Martin says he's appointed a new manager to replace seat warmer Juan Ramon Lopez Caro, but bizarrely he's keeping the new man's identity secret.

My guess, based on absolutely no evidence whatsoever is that it's Sven Goran Eriksson. There are three reasons why I believe this:

• Sven is used to receiving big pay checks, and Madrid are used to writing them.
• Sven's sensitive position with England makes it likely he'd want to keep details of his next employer quiet as long as possible.
• SGE hearts DB